Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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