My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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