that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
