fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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