I wish i was in the wii world.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
No more Irish car bombs ever.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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