I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
