I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
