Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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