hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
