They should really pass out barf bags in church
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
what the fuck happened to the tacos
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
