NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm like, not good at living.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
