Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
