I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
