ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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