You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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