I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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