I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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