I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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