I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
