well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize