I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
