If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
