I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
