just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
