First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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