I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
