Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
