Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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