So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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