I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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