I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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