I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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