I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
