Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
