i think my mom watched the whole time
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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