the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
