he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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