He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
