at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
