Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
