We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
