Pappa wants mamma naked
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize