I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
