I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
