Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
