I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
