Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think your dad took our porno
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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