who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
