Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
