Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize