so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
