They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize