When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
