I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
