she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My life is pants optional.
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