id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
