check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize