I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
