Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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