I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
