I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
