I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
