Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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