My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
