I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm eating all of the evidence.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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