i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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