Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
