the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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