4 words: hood of his car
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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