he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
