I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
