Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
