omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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